The Stone That Sings, Chapter 18

Network, Cipher, and Light

As I approach the end of the novel, my drafts get draftier, and I find myself having to fix a lot more, which only shows what a mad rush it was to get to the end of the story.
This chapter was a challenge because it wasn't about major plot points, but more about putting things in motion, developing relationships, and solving the little mysteries to get to the big ones. I guess in story terms it is the minor victory before things go completely awry.

The Stone That Sings, Chapter 17

Connection

The one thing I don't have in my outline is chapter titles. I chose 'Connection' if only because that seemed to be what was going on, but I realized that the title is quite ironic.

 I wanted to hit:

• More information about the Raptor Badge and those involved
• Juliette's meddling in the relationship between T'Mar and Danek
• More information about what happened with the sehlat
• Danek's growing interest in Juliette
• Juliette increased distrust, yet continued reliance on P'Nem

There're a couple of threads on Scribophile about love triangles. I hate them because they become what people write when they don't have a story. Still, its hard to have a story about three young people and not have relationships defined, and if there is any ambiguity, you have the possibility of a triangle. But how can I avoid making yet another crappy love triangle?

The Stone That Sings, Chapter 16

Just an Injured Bird

Did I say that Chapter 15 was the chapter that I was dying to get to? Well, I liked. Chapter 16 was the one I really wanted to get to but was also the one I was dreading. It's less happy and more of a turning point and brings back the sehlat sub-plot with a vengeance.

I'd been dreading the chapter because it forced me to come face to face with the criticism I'd been handing out to multiple authors on Scribophile about injuries and combat -- which was to point out that many beginning writers depict combat and injury far too clinically -- even when the combatant is a non-com like Juliette. The other element I wanted to bring in is a sense of denial and the random tangle of thoughts that seems to accompany shock.

So this chapter is confusing because much of it is set around a traumatic injury. Does it work? I don't know. I'll let the feedback decide.

There are other pieces to this chapter. P'Nem breaks her almost perfect Vulcan veneer just a little, and the level of frustration with the entire situation reaches an all-time high. It also made sense to have Juliette confront Surot -- especially since he's more or less the moral compass of the monastery, but even he is involved in Juliette's situation to some level.  His position might seem confusing; I'm hoping that his position will make sense if not before, but the end of the novel.

The Stone That Sings, Chapter 15

The Masters and the Loresinger

So I'm following an outline, and I've been dying to get to this chapter out for several reasons. One, because this ties together so many sub-plots that I've taken, and two because all of a sudden, not all the stakes are interpersonal.

Three, because I asked Tremor months ago to use his piece Chant of War, and he graciously accepted, and I wanted the chapter to capture the same sense of mysticism that Tremor carried forward from the Kavala. So I built this up in my head until almost anything that I threw down to pixels was going to be a disappointment. Hopefully, not too much so. A few spoilers below the fold.

The Stone That Sings, Chapter 14

Discoveries

T'Mar has even more secrets than originally thought, and reveals that if Juliette is a captive of circumstance, her circumstances have been engineered, and she gets a glimpse at another layer of the onion.

Juliette also has secrets of her own. I struggled with this, because she is he character the reader gets closest to, and the narration is designed to pull the reader close. I think it makes a better story for Juliette to have secrets from the reader, even though there are moments when the reader is right there with her thoughts.

Finally there is some progress in improving the holo-projector. This alludes to the relationship that the Vulcans have with the 433rd house as well as brings back the theme of connection, and how Vulcans and Betazoids differ in celebrating success.

This chapter also reveals more about T'Mar's parents and gives the opportunity to show that Vulcan families are not all alike. This is also where almost incomprehensible differences between Betazoid and Vulcan relationships and marriage are made clear. I always saw Betazids and Vulcans being very forthright on the mechanics of intimacy, but from there the viewpoints sharply divide. Vulcans are almost required to put rigor around their marriages and mating. Betazoids have a tradition of breaking tradition.

Danek, Juliette and T'Mar are not designed with the traditional love triangle in mind -- the Terran idea of 'which one do I choose' wouldn't play well at all, but doesn't preclude any kind of tension. More on this in later chapters.

As her Matron points out, Juliette has a lot to learn in this area, as does T'Mar. 

The Stone That Sings, Chapter 13

Projects

FthinraKathi is a language that predates Surak, and is officially extinct. Luckily, T'Mar's mother has a thing for dead languages. So does Pylkau, it seems, who just does not like the idea of a Betazoid at the monastery at all.

It is also when T'Mar and Juliette reconcile, so it's not all Vulcans hating on Juliette. This is also a chance to flesh out T'Mar more, and show what lies beneath the cool Vulcan exterior. T'Mar is a novice with secrets.

The Vulcan Language Institute, linked above, was extremely helpful, and the history of the language structure really helped with the idea of a Vulcan that rose as a spacefaring culture long before the other species, but almost didn't survive the final test of any species -- having the power to destroy itself.

The Stone That Sings, Chapter 11

The Passion Opera

Danek spells out some of the conflicts that are going on within the Vulcans in the Sas-a-shar community, and while writing this, while I try to stick with the outline, I had one of those epiphany moments.  I had understood that this community of Vulcans were part of a schism in how to best walk the Way of Kolinahr, but I had glossed over it in my initial outline. It started as simply a throwaway thought and a way to put the Vulcans in a less pristine technological environment because "reasons".

This chapter really got me thinking about what those differences meant, and at the same time, not have my small sect in the Sas-a-shar become a mix of "The Hills Have Eyes" or "Deliverance". At the heart of it, they were still good people, and good people that chose to live in a far more hostile environment. Later chapters will dig in to just how hostile this environment can be.

This is also an opportunity to give Lorot a chance to shine. He's been a bit of a comedic foil for P'Nem, but as someone who contributes a lot to keeping the monastery running, he has quite a reputation. He's also a gifted calligrapher -- an art dying on Vulcan, and elsewhere. This is really a chance to examine Art in a universe where matter and energy are starting to blend. I feel Star Trek skipped out on this, simply falling back to some sort of wistful thinking about the 20th century. I suppose one could look at it like some sort of re-enactment of some three hundred years ago, but at least in these contemporary times, they are niches. Again, in a universe where stuff is easy, maybe the wistfulness isn't as far-fetched, though I would say every century/decade/year would have its artists. But things get complicated in such a far-flung future.

This chapter also has Juliette obliquely referring to the Passion Operas again, this time to posit to Lorot how she sees her situation. His repsone, I hope, is clear.

The Stone that Sings, Chapter 10

Holograms, Refuse, and Refusal

This chapter introduces the ESH, or the "Emergency Stylist Hologram."

This started as a comedic idea and remains so in many ways. At the same time, much of Juliette's stress about her hair is one part vanity, three parts loss of control. The ESH is a resumption of control and the establishment of just a little more Betazoid normal in her life.

This also opens with Juliette asserting her independence. Vulcan society is very role driven, and much of the Vulcan/Terran romances are very much about the strong Vulcan taking calm, logical control of the relationship situation.   It should be very clear that the Stone That Sings dumps this on its head slightly -- first with the relationship between Lorot and P'Nem, and, more starkly,  the relationship between Juliette and Danek.  Juliette, coming from a planet of predominantly female Matrons, is expected to do work and get her hands dirty. Sure, there might be other houses with legions of consorts to take care of mundane labor, but that's not the 433rd House of Betazed's style.

Juliette is not able to articulate the political situation on Betazed, and while Danek is technically correct, there is a judgement factor added on which may or may not apply. Juliette certainly doesn't agree, which is good because it ticks her off enough to get a fresh robe and find something unusual.

Juliette has to make a decision, and it shows how important telepathy is to Betazoids, but to Juliette in particular, who resigns herself to a life on Vulcan versus losing her abilities.

The Stone that Sings, Chapter 12

As Is Proper

This is the first chapter that really brings up the idea of propriety in Vulcan culture, and runs Juliette right smack into that propriety. It was hinted at when Master Surot gave a tour of the monastery -- men and women live in different wings. This, of course, doesn't solve the problems of same-sex liasons, but that is what the Initiates are for -- but as young adults on the Way of Kolinahr, one can expect some level of control, or at least discretion.

This chapter also brings T'Sana forward, and gives more of a perspective of her concerns around Betazoids. It also brings to light the differences between Betazoid and Vulcan perspectives on intimacy, and what is proper to discuss in mixed company.

We also learn that manipulating Juliette into retrieving zattre was not entirely just a chore for Juliette, but also an object lesson. Master Surot tries to spell these things out quite clearly and at the same time also learns Juliette's distress around the Kolinahr Masters. As I review this, and look at the second draft I realize Juliette's interaction with the Masters should probably become a scene itself -- especially because its so powerful, and starkly highlights a major difference between Vulcan telepathy and Betazoid empathy.

The Stone that Sings 9: The Matron of Summer

After a week, the Initiate T’Sana told the novices the sandstorm had ended, and that once cleanup was over, daily duties were to be resumed. Among many of the novices, there was a sense of restrained relief. Three days before, the monastery’s power had stopped, turning familiar corridors into a silent, lightless maze.

Juliette had stood breathless, trapped in the sudden darkness when the collective dismay of every Vulcan in the facility crashed into her, toppling her against a wall which she clung helplessly, fighting the undertow of sudden emotion, her eyes clenched tight.

The Stone That Sings Part III: Annah 2368

In summer, Annah had walked the rows of Jestral with Minerva ever since she could walk.  In the lower, hotter valleys, the leaves could be harvested year round, but here, high in the mountains, the Jestral shrubs grew much slower.  Havest was always in late summer, and had to be carefully timed with the dense fog that rolled in with the ocean.  After the third fog, but never more than a month later, Annah would walk the rows of lush shrubs, the edges of the normally green leaves taking a purplish tint. This year, Minerva dutifully followed, her toes grey from the dry, sandy ground, her young feet toughed by a summer of bare feet.

The Stone that Sings Part II

When Juliette Sri arrived at sick bay 38, her mental defenses wrapped tightly around her, the medical stations labs were dark and the bio beds empty. She consulted a console, and found all the patients had been transferred to other bays.  The reasons for doing so were indistinct, and since there was space in other sick bays, the transfers were unquestioned.  Devoid of patients, the sick bay staff had left for the day, in ones or small groups, with quick messages like, “Forgot my anniversary”, “Happy Hour at Quarks!”, “Early Dinner Date with Alain.” Or “I don’t think I fed Aslot.” One was simply a blunt. “I need some me-time.”  That left Matron Sheldt, her staff, and Juliette Sri  as the sole occupants of sickbay 38.  As Juliette approached the matron’s presence, her bodyguards coldly kept their distance, no doubt still smarting from her avoiding them and having the temerity to refuse the matron’s request.  With a deep breath, Juliette let her mental shield cascade away in a shower of diamond.

The Stone That Sings: Part I

Juliette Sri was apologizing. Again. Weaving, and apologizing. She could tell from D’Shyv’s stiff responses she wasn’t doing a very good job.

“I thought you wanted some space with Tran.”

Did I?

Sri frowned. The storms of Andoria were bone biting cold. Sri herself had nearly frozen to death hiding in the secondary hull of an ancient starship. Sunny days compared to the frost responses of an irked Aenar.  Blind as D’Shyv was, she briskly maneuvered and angled herself through the traffic of Deep Space Nine’s promenade. A pale, aloof ghost haunted by the living.  Sri felt her own peevishness at chasing after the D’Shyv creeping growing, and persisted with the verbal, if only because she knew it irritated her.

“I did. I thought you’d have something in common – talk about the homeworld—“

Homeworld? You know nothing of us, Lieutenant Commander.  Her use of Sri’s rank dripped with contempt, and Sri bit back anger. We may share a planet, but we are different worlds.

“All the more reason to get to know him. You wanted to find out more about the universe. Perhaps starting closer to home –“

The Dreamer and the Dreams that Were : Part II

“You are late. Again.”

“I am late.” Lieutenant Commander Juliette Sri conceded.  “I was busy trying to make sure your supplies made it to your sickbay instead of the USS Victor.”

“A notable goal. Were you successful?”

“That depends. Did you complete the cross-chronal matrix?”

Dr. Fenna stared intently at Sri. Sri glared. “What?”

“Your eyes are too close together.” Dr Fenna observed in a clinical tone.

“You didn’t complete it.” Sri accused, exasperated.

Only a Small Medical Emergency II

Continued from Part I

The inside of the building opened up into a large, four-story concourse that echoed just slightly with the occasional voices and crisp footsteps on the hard tiled floors. The entire building seemed lit to create the illusion of a perpetual early afternoon.  Sri turned to search the open areas of the upper floors, but was unable to see any Starfleet uniform standing out among patients, visitors or staff.  She reached out with her awareness, and the murmur of the concourse became a deafening roar of emotion.   Waves of frustration and worry, but none of the usual static that came with a Ferengi presence.  Nath was not nearby, but the sheer volume of emotion concealed a great deal.

Light Show

James Bridgeway’s first conscious moments weren’t of sight, or even sounds, but instead a scent – a sweet, charred smell, that at one time invoked memories of hot, thick cut bacon soaking in that last puddle of maple syrup. That was before he had been part of an engineering team trying to keep an alliance Klingon cruiser’s warp core from going critical. There the smell had come from the nearby plasma conduit which had ruptured near one of the targ pens. The conduit still flashed occasionally illuminating charred targ statues, caught in mid panic with brilliant white light. Other bodies, the parts that hadn’t been caught in the plasma wash, steamed. A few twitched. Others screamed. He remembered being mesmerized by the stench and the sound until the Commander had boxed her ear, screaming into it. “Want to wind up like them? Get that coolant system running!”  Afterward he’d stopped eating bacon – the pleasant memory; the warm hominess had been replaced by carbonized statues and screams.

Only a Small Medical Emergency - I

Oppenheimer’s departure from Deep Space Nine had been an experience to try the most beatific of Vulcans. As a hub of crew transfers, supply drops, and ship refits, occasional logistical mistakes at a busy station were only natural.  When that station is overloaded with novice crew and staffed with officers less familiar with the mix of Federation and Cardassian technology, one accepted the mistakes as commonplace and tried to avoid total catastrophe. Oppenheimer's supplies had been mis-appropriated to three different ships – all unwilling to release Oppenheimer's supplies until their supplies were found.  Her departure window had moved so many times the deck crew had to be re-briefed on adjusted procedure and contacts twice. Post departure, just as Sri was counting herself lucky, the quartermaster on watch discovered five crewmen milling about the mess hall who thought they were on the USS Lyons.  Not minutes later, the Lyons sent out a hysterical alert; the furious captain declared the crewmen deserters and demanded they be arrested and detained.  Despite Chief Security Officer Tran’s eagerness to put them in irons – he hadn’t had a chance to use irons, after all --   Lt Commander Sri decided they were merely lost and to make sure they had some lunch before transfer.  However, instead of bowls of hot plomeek soup,  the replicator produced a hypo of nutrients that resembled that of plomeek soup.  Closer inspection revealed the replicator to be a medical replicator, not a food replicator and that several crewmen had used the replicator to make hundreds of medical hypos – mostly stimulants controlled under Starfleet regulations.  Sri merely sighed and  ordered and enthusiastic Tran to head up the investigation to track down the hypos, mentally contacted D’Shyv to swap out the replicators, and sent the errant crewmen to sickbay for a bowl of soup.

The Dreamer and the Dreams that Were : Part I

Dr. Fenna’s glare could have melted neutronium. Instead its target was one Lieutenant Commander Sri.

“Give me one reason I should help you after you reassigned the Aenar to your team.” Her voice betrayed a bitterness so jagged Sri didn’t need her empathy. Sri had accepted the doctor’s pent-up rage as normal --just in this case her rage wasn’t nearly as pent up.

By The Numbers II: A Full Accounting

Even though most of the officers in the ready room were off their duty cycle, sleeping was not on their minds. Syvok, stood stonily at the head of the table. His gaze abruptly went between the assembled officers which as Sri knew, passed for agitation for a vulcan.  The darkness didn’t help the mood. The yellow alert combined with wan emergency lighting created heavy shadows that turned empty spaces into lightless voids such Syvok appeared sinister instead of efficient and the officers around the table appeared sullen, bleary and agitated instead of -- 

Sri decided that part was actually pretty accurate. The stress around the table radiated out spastically around her, and she focused tightly to hold it off.

By the Numbers I: Oppenheimer Senior Staff

“You will find the senior staff responsibilities uploaded to your PADDS. You are expected to not only to know your own duties but the duties of your fellow officers in order to make communication efficient.”

Sri glanced around the four faces in the ready room.  Congenial, serious, placid, all listening attentively to Commander Syvok, Captain Tilmana’s First Officer. Only the Captain seemed slightly distracted, paging through his PADD as his first officer paused for the other officers to review their own PADDs